Tipping Over the Edge
by chicaalterego
Summary: Being reborn with the memories of a past life is not fun, being reborn withing a world you considered fictional even less so. SI Inspired in "Dreaming of Sunshine" by Silver Queen. Contains dark humor.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer:** Don't own. Don't care. Writing this for free.

 **AN:** Hello there! Sorry I haven't been updating my other fics, but I was so incredibly uninspired for those, and yet I had this cool idea of getting myself into the world of Naruto, not cannon Naruto, but Dreaming of Sunshine Naruto! Sure, it will take a while to catch up to that canon, but this fic probably won't be all that long. Anyway, I hope you enjoy "Dreading the Sunshine" a different kind of SI.

Thanks a lot to Silver Queen for allowing me to use her universe.

* * *

Chapter 1: Wasting the years.

"Shhh, shhh... It's OK, Sayoko baby, it's OK." I remember mother saying soothingly into my ear as she hugged me tenderly and kissed my forehead with tears in her eyes, but I couldn't stop trembling. I couldn't. Because as she cooed me into calmness her hand hadn't let go of the tied rope she had placed around my neck. And I could hear THEM, the other children that were already hanging on the ceiling, gurgling and foaming in the mouth as they trashed, trying to breath. They were going to die, and so was I, I was going to die at the tender age of 5. Even the adults that were putting end to our lives were not going to make it for too long. The winter had come too fast and lasted too long. We no longer had food, we were starving and freezing.

A sob found its way to my throat. The memories of a past life never forgotten made everyhting worse. The happy life with loving parents in which I lacked for nothing was a constant reminder of how little I had now. The fact that I was born the first time around in a tropical country only served to highlight the harshness of winter of my new world. I missed mom, my real, sweet mom who always complained about my room being messy, but always was there with a plate of food every evening and a sweet word every night. I missed my comfy bed, my old friends and all the commodities of my time... What wouldn't I have given for having internet on the wee ours of the morning when homesickness left me unable to sleep and I desperately needed a distraction? What wouldn't I have given for a pain relief medicine while my muscles ached and my body got so sick it felt like it was falling apart?

If I had to describe my second life up to this point in time with one word, as I looked to the hanged children I had grown up with this time around, that word would be miserable. I had never been happy here in ancient Japan. I had been surviving but never living. I had died once by being on the wrong end of a pistol and I had died as a just another statistic in one of the most dangerous cities to live in the world. All because petty thieves wanted my car. My car that looked nice enough from outside but was falling apart from the inside because I couldn't afford to fix it. Jackasses. I hope it exploded with them in it or something.

But the past was neither here nor now. There was only one thought in my mind as I saw my mother walk away with the end of the rope in one hand, ready to pull me up by the neck like a living piñata: I don't want to die.

Even if the option was to be a time traveler that had to chance it on hew own in the cold, harsh world with the body of a toddler.

So I screamed with all the force I could muster (which I'm proud to say was really loud), but then again, the scream soon turned into a desperate gurgle and I was chocking and kicking while suspended in the air.

It was the end: I knew God wouldn't save me because He didn't save me when I prayed to him with a gun aimed to my temple. But I was not ready to give up just yet, so I raised my hands and grabbed the rope around my neck with pudgy fingers as I fought to support my own weight. But even the relief of a little weight my upper extremities provided were not enough to save my neck (pun intended) for I knew I was only prolonging the agony of oncoming death. The sight in front of me started turning foggier and foggier as I was losing my grip on both rope and life, and the darkened room was starting to look completely black save for a pinprick of light that reminded me of the belief of death being The Light at the end of The Tunnel.

But then the light was gone and I no longer felt my whole body relying right below my chin. I fell to the ground with a sick crunch (though it was hard to say what I hurt on the fall since my whole body was hurting like a bitch), getting in fetal position to make myself smaller by instinct while my chipped fingers wrapped around my bruised neck protectively. I felt big, callous hands wrap around my own, gently removing the limp rope, as a raspy voice over my head spoke whispered something my mind wasn't able to process, but I knew better than to trust, knew better than to let go of my vulnerable neck, for even the only relative I had in this world wouldn't hesitate to take my life while murmuring sweetly to me.

I didn't let go of my protective position then, nor when I was pulled into a warm chest. I was too scared to open my eyes or make a sound, even when the warmth of the body who was holding me fended off a little of the cold wind and a plea might be able to buy me a couple of seconds before death was forced upon me once again.

...

"I think she is in shock, Senju-sama," Uchiha Yume, a medic nin from once enemy clan of the Senju, reported to Tobirama, younger brother of the leader of the recently formed village of Konohagakure no Sato.

The village that had been built when Hashirama Senju and Uchiha Madara put an end to the two Clan's blood feud was still a work in process. Despite the conflict between ninja being no longer threatening to lead to another ninja war, making a home with along with the very same Shinnobi that had killed part of your family and whose family you have murdered in return was no easy task. However, It was because things had calmed after the very tense first months that Tobirama along with a few trusted representatives of various clans had been sent to recruit civilians to take care of the agriculture and other commercial endeavors needed for any economy to prosper; but the civilians in the nearby area had been either too distrustful or too content with their homes, homes that had housed several generations of their families, so they wouldn't move from their current locations. Not even the promise of free protection on a walled village was enough to move them, which was probably because this civilian's plentiful harvest had allowed them to hire their own ninja protectors and didn't want to risk moving to a enclosed space filled with murderers that had history of making war among them for ages.

Tobirama was frustrated, but he couldn't force the people with whom the village might strike deals with in the future, people that undoubtedly would become clients in the future if their new alliance became a success. So Tobirama looked a little bit farther away from the fertile area Konoha was built, and as the areas he looked into proved to be poorer and the nature around them more hostile, he managed to recruit civilians with a slightly higher degree of success. Still, most of the people who they managed to recruit were useless vagabonds or people who had lost everything and didn't mind following dangerous shinobi for the promise of living to see another day. The best farmers they recruited lacked the tools to work the land, lacked the seeds to plant new corps, and even the decent blacksmiths born in the various ninja families either couldn't cope with the demand of farming tools, or felt that creating those tools was bellow them since they were artist in the forgery of weapons.

It was never wise to antagonize the people who make your weapons, so the civilians they had would be lost in no time if they didn't make sure they had what they needed to start working and making a living. As for where to buy their supplies, they ended up needing to buy what they still lacked in other countries for their neighbors refused to sell to people who threatened to become their competition in a marked they were currently monopolizing: food exportation.

It was purely a stroke of luck which had Tobirama hear a scream while his squad was picking up a huge order of shovels and pikes in the borders of Land of Snow. The view of the poor, out-of-the-way village was grim and disgusting. Cold corpses of starved paupers on the streets had been either cannibalized or eaten by beasts of the nearby pine forest. The smell of those people didn't reach his nose, for the residual blood and putrid flesh had long since frozen; still, even when the whole place looked like god had forgotten it and every human had perished, there was a faint sound of struggle and a distant air of fresh blood from the shack to Tobirama's right. So the Senju entered said shack, not feeling more warmth in it than he felt outside (which wasn't surprising given that the construction lacked windows and its door was barely hanging in its hinges). Then he saw no less than a dozen children being forced to their death by skeletal parents that were probably running out food, so they decided to to kill the young ones for their own selfish survival.

Tobirama saw red as his eyes met the foggy, unfocused ones of a little blond girl who struggled with all she had to keep herself from dying. A moment later Tobirama was cutting the throat of the woman hanging the kid along with all the other vile people who had murdered their innocent children. But Tobirama was too late to save the pitiful children: the were dead, all but one. He cut the rope with a thrown kunai, knowing that every second was precious and his want to be delicate while putting the girl down might mean she might die like the others.

It was moments after he approached the only survivor that the group the Senju Shinobi had been traveling with caught up to him and the Uchiha medic he had brought along had diagnosed the kid while the rest of his men fidgeted outside the blood-spattered room where their squad leader had enacted a massacre. A massacre enacted in a foreign land that might result in a conflict with the Land of Snow if word reached the wrong ears.

"We need to burn this place," Tobirama announced, knowing full well the evidence of the events of this day needed to be erased so their feeble peace could be maintained. Tobiraba cradled the small frame of the girl he had saved as he made his way out, his boots making disgusting wet noises as he stepped on the puddles of blood that continued to flow from dismembered corpses. It was probably a small mercy that the little one seemed oblivious to the happenings around her.

The bloody shack was burnt as soon as Tobirama and the 5 years' old stepped out of it, the single Uchiha in his team easy was more than enough to encase the whole village in a giant ball of fire. Fire Jutsu, it seemed, was something all Uchiha, even rare Uchiha medic nin, mastered. The smell of burnt human bodies accompanied them for several miles as the wind mockingly blew in the direction of the road they had to take back home. A detour was tempting but they abstained: they had a mission to take their current cargo back as soon as possible so their new home could take the first step to become self-sustaining.

If anyone in Konoha's temporary hospital noticed the shocked girl wearing clothes that were not typical of the Land Of Fire, nobody said a word.

...

It had been a month since I last opened my eyes. Or so I was told. I was baffled to discover the world I had been born in had capable medics. As far as I had recalled, medics in primitive times did little more than patch you up with herbal remedies and send you away with a prayer; not to mention this doctors were different from what I recalled historical doctors of the ancient Japan were, and not only because they knew what neurons were, but because they seemed to have healing powers the like of which I had only ever read about on fiction or watched on anime. "Where am I?" I rasped. Apparently getting almost chocked to death could seriously harm your vocal chords... or maybe my voice was raspy because I didn't speak for a month?

"You are in Konoha, in the Land of Fire," the woman replied candidly.

"Say it again?" I ask-begged. I had to have heard wrong. She could't have said-

"You are in Konohagakure. The Land Hidden in the Leafs." Something in my expression prompted her to keep going, "The ninjas in the Land of Fire had been in war for a long time, but Senji Harashima and Uchiha Madara made their clans become allies and thus Konogahagakure was born. You will be safe here, little girl, our Shinobi will protect you for you are now part of our village."

My mind was completely malfunctioning. If I had been in shock before I didn't know what to label the revelation that I was, not in the past as I had believed in my secluded rebirth village, but I currently living in a world where ninja had magical healing powers; worse still, I was just told I was a place I knew only existed in the world of Naruto.

I did the only thing I could do in such an impossible situation. I laughed. Laughed until my body shook. The fountain of tears in my eyes made my increasingly hysterical laughter grow up in pitch and intensity because knowing I was crying from laughter when the last time I opened my eyes I was being chocked to death was too much for any logical response. Soon enough I became unable to breath, my trachea was spasming with wild bursts of mad giggles, preventing the air that needed to go down pass my throat.

I had finally lost it. Me? Reborn in a manga, in the Naruto Manga of all things? It was absolutely absurd! and it wasn't even all that funny, but I couldn't make my body stop the happy nose that was carrying anything but real mirth. I was reborn in ancient Japan, I had concluded as long as my reborn had it's brain developed enough to think and put two and two together. And now? now someone was just pulling my leg by telling me I was born in a tale that wouldn't be written for centuries? It made me crack up.

Soon, the medic bay was filled with worried medic that eyed lil me spiraling down into insanity. And, oh god, they had the _leaf protector_ on their heads. All of them. And that medic did have green-glowing hands that looked just like Naruto's healing jutsu... The hysteric laughter mixed up with panic and dreadful realization, then denial, and my brain started to hurt. Blood started to pour down my nose and ears as I probably burst something delicate and vital in my brain with all the abrupt and strong emotions meshing into massive panic attack. A panic attack that had come as soon as I was out of the shock of almost being hanged.

The emotions cursing my body were too much. If I was lucky enough my mind would block all my memories to preserve my sanity and I could start anew as just another homeless girl in a world where ninja were capable of magic jutsus.

The medic that had informed me of my current location pulled me on her way as something inside my head was hemorrhaging then, praise be to The Lord, she pinched my neck in just the right spot to take me to oblivion. Maybe death by getting hanged wouldn't have been so bad after all?

...

Tobirama had just exited a reunion with his brother and the heads of the various clans when a petite, brown-haired woman in standard Konoha medic uniform, caught up with him to report the change of status of the girl he had rescued near Land of Snow. So far, the daily reports he had requested had been dull, brief and repetitive. They routinely cleaned her catatonic body with sponges, had IV drips in her arms to stop her from dehydrating, and carefully managed to get smashed food to go down her throat. Of course, the medics had made sure to put the girl on diapers and change her when needed, but they kept those unimportant details to themselves. Thus, since Tobirama had expected this report to be the same as the ones before he had been surprised by the medic's words.

After the recounts of what had taken place to the girl he went to look for her at the provisional medical facility. He knew he didn't need to keep an eye on this case but he did. Despite Tobirama's cold attitude and hardened heart, the man wan't completely unfeeling: he had killed the girl's family (the blond hair, brown hair and face structure the she had in common with the woman dangling her with a rope from the ceiling, were a dead giveaway), then Tobirama took the shocked kid to another country where she didn't have anyone at all to look for her, which meant Tobirama felt that the little blond was his responsability now, and will continue to be until he found her a place to belong and good family to take her in.

A Shunshi later and Senju Tobirama was in the medic tent. The girl was unconscious when he arrived, but the little twitches her body gave made it obvious it wasn't a deep slumber. So, as soon as he verified waking the kid up wasn't going to be dire for the patient, he gently shook her awake. Brown eyes looked up at him with a gleam of madness and a small smile formed in her thin lips. "Let me guess, you are a Naruto Ninja too?"

Tobirama frowned, having no idea what a "Naruto Ninja" was supposed to be. "No, I'm Senju Tobirama," he introduced himself and the girl let out a surprisingly disturbing giggle.

"Of course you are!" She said with an enthusiasm that was plain wrong, "I'm pretty sure that if you toss me out of the window I can show you I'm a ninja too," she looked to the window with as if she wanted to jump out of it and end her life right then.

Tobirama sighed.

"Look I understand you are afraid-"

"Afraid?" She asked in confusion, "Why would I be afraid? We are currently in the fucking Naruverse! Isn't that super awesome? Oh! and you are a ninja, right? Tobirama was it? Can you teach me how to make those magic-jutsu thingies? It would be so cool to say I learned Jutsu from the Hokage! Maybe you can teach me the Rasengan! That was invented already right? Probably not because you look to young for the Forth to have been born... But hey! I'm pretty sure you have something cool you can teach me like... I don't know, the exploding-head-no-jutsu?" She giggled again.

Something was really wrong with that kid.

"First, I am not the Hokage, my bro*cough* Senju Hashirama-sama is," Tobirama clarified, ignoring the mumbled "that much before the start of cannon, huh?" as he went on, "and you, little girl, are unwell and not apt to be a ninja in your condition."

"Because I'm crazy, right?"

"Yes. That is one reason. Mentally unstable kids aren't taught how to cause bodily harm to others." For some reason, she laughed at that too.

"So, tell me, Not-Hokage-sama, is something interesting going on in Konoha? Building a giant statue of Harashima and Madara perhaps?"

"No." Though that one wasn't a bad idea. A statue so future generations could remember the founders of the village was probably a good reminder, and having a reminder of how two mortal enemies let go of their grudges for the sake of the future might asure the mistakes of the past wouldn't be committed again... Belatedly, Tobirama realized he was getting distracted from the reason he had rushed to the medic bay. Why had he come to this girl again? Right, to see if she was alright, which she clearly wasn't. He looked towards the medic nin in the room "Uchiha-san. Make sure to ask a Yamanaka to give that girl a check up."

"As you say, Senju-sama," the Uchiha replied formally all the while Sayoko's eyes followed the parting Senju, who had forgotten to ask her her name during his visit.

Stupid fictional ninja.

...

Life for Sayoko didn't change much for the next 2 years. Even if she had moved to a room in the permanent Konoha hospital as soon as that particularly building was finished, her dubious mental health had gained her a permanent spot under the watchful eye of the local medic nin. Heck, she even had her own personal Kamanaka to bother once a week.

She had to admit she loved her imagination, convincing herself she was born in a fictional world where nobody knew anything of the customs under which she had been raised was liberating: she could sing Christmas carols in july, insult people in Spanish without them knowing they were insulted, then she would spend those many free hours coming up with possible endings of the series that were ongoing when she died... if she had died that is. She felt really alive at the moment so the whole sob story about her growing up as a borderline pauper and almost dying could have been her subconscious giving her the background necessary for her to become the dashing heroine at the end of the story... it certainly would fit the rule most fictional tales followed about their main characters: the intrepid, brave character with the dazzling blond hair shall be an orphan that found his or her destiny after going through hardship. Maybe she would end up saving the world while she was at it too?.. Nah! Her imagination knew better than to throw that particular cliche in the mix.

What Sayoko knew for certain was that she belonged in the loony bin: she was sane enough to know she was crazy. Really crazy. As in "I sometimes think I got reborn in the Naruto manga" crazy. But the moments in which she truly believed she was now a fictional character on a great manga that got so bad half way into the Shippunen she simply had to drop it. Because, how many times can Naruto play the card of "I know your pain because I'm also a ninja" before you want to punch all things orange?

Yeah, she wasn't that big of a Naruto fan, so it puzzled her that, of all series she ever read, of all animes she ever watched she would be "reborn" in this one. If it was up to her she would have been trapped in an imaginary world that reflected something she liked more, like "The Legend of the Sun Knight" or "One Piece". But nope, she was inside Naruto, a world where you could be yell at the top of your lungs every day of your life and wear a jumpsuit of the color of two mixed primary colors, and still be considered a ninja.

Sometimes she wished her -probably comatose- brain trapped her in a different reality but alas it was not to be.

In the end, she figured it didn't matter all that much to be in the Naruverse: she was inside the play and she knew many of the players and a huge chunk of the script. So all that was left to do was sit back and watch the world around her spun, or get up and mess up with people without giving any real spoilers of the entertaining disasters making their way to the "present".

For a while, Sayoko considered taking her life to see if she would wake up like one would in a nightmare, or the Inception movie. However she didn't try to kill herself in the end because, well, if you die in The Matrix...

The only thing she regretted after having her merry time in the loony bin was the lost of her playmate. Two years of abundant insane remarks had made it so Tobirama would visit her less and less frequently. Pity, they guy was rather nice to look at.

...

One day when crazy Sayoko became 11 she experienced something she had almost forgotten existed: the period. She was having her first period again. While the first time had been quite unpleasant and painful, this time was like getting back an old enemy. She wasn't happy in the slightest, but this one event was the one that finally gave a pause and finally accept that the notion of everything that happened around her was real. This realization didn't come in an earth-shattering manner, it was simply like discovering you were wearing those small earrings you forgot you were wearing until you noticed they didn't match what you were wearing. Maybe it was so unsurprising because a part of her had acknowledged the truth of her reality the very same day she woke up to see the green light of a healing jutsu moving up and down her body as one of the many doctors in the village gave her a physical check-up just in case.

Or maybe it was because she had been struggling to keep to her delusion just a little bit longer. But sadly, she was unable to deny the truth any longer and the mundane revelation that she had reached the most annoying milestone in a woman's life was but the last piece of good she managed to pile up on top of an unstable Jenga tower, making the whole damn thing come down.

So Sayoko accepted the reality of been reborn inside the Narutoverse. It only took her 11 years to realize it and come to terms with it.

Pained but more lucid she had been in years, Sayoko went to look for one of the nurses to get herself the ninja-world equivalent of pads... and maybe something for the pain. Then, as she walked the familiar walls of the place she had been living in longer than any other in this world, she started pondering how she was going to spend the rest of her life, and Sayoko knew she needed to finally get back into the game because she sure as hell didn't want to spend the rest of her life trapped in a room that smelled of antiseptic.

Now all she had to do was convince the medic-nins that she was no longer crazy after 6 straight years of liberally acting like a total lunatic.

 _To Be Continued._

* * *

.

* * *

 **AN:** This was fun to write. Honestly, I admire Silver Queen for having her SI become such a cool ninja. I don't have what it gets to become a ninja, and if I got reborn in a fictional world I think I would react pretty much like I wrote above. Probably... OH! And I wanted to point out that, while I started this waaay before the DoS canon takes place, it is the same world, so you can be sure I plan to bring Shikako from DoS at some point in the fic (not telling you when).

Let me know if you think you would also go crazy if you got reborn in the Naruverse! And if not... well, you can still review. I love reviews :D


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer:** Don't own. Don't care. Writing this for free.

 **Before I start I want to apologize if any religious people gets offended** by a small rant that might come as heretic. However, my being a catholic and seriously trying to picture myself in a world of ninja makes me think about the way I would feel if I discovered the beliefs I have been raised in are false (you know, because the reincarnation thing). However, since I have yet to be reborn in a fictional world, I can say with all certainty that I do believe in God, in Jesus, Virgin Mary, etc. So please, don't take my SI's rants seriously.

.

* * *

Chapter 2: Going nowhere

I took a deep breath as I sat with my legs crossed in the classic lotus position. I was meditating, focusing in the energy within my body as the world outside seemed to vanish from my senses. My eyes were closed, I could no longer hear the busy steps of the people outside the room, and the smell of antiseptic faded from my conscious mind.

All I knew was the rhythm of my breathing, the easy flow of blood in my veins, and the little tingles the little hairs on my arms made as the almost non-existing wind drove them to brush my skin.

I knew I needed to find my core, to find my life energy, the chakra all humans had in this life as a gift of the Tree of Life. I concentrated, searching, imagining myself as a hunter trying to unclog her nen coils; tried gathering my ki to build up the energy for a Kamehameha wave, tried to focus my all my Spiritual Energy in one spot so I could beam it out of my body like miko powers capable of purifying demons to dust, I was... feeling rather stupid.

Opening my eyes I felt heat climb to my cheeks as it dawned on me that I had been trying to do something the likes of which I hadn't tried since I was a little kid who dreamed of becoming a Sailor Earth because in a show in which all planets had Sailor Scouts only ours didn't. Which, one reincarnation later, I still found stupid.

Feeling frustrated, childish and more disappointed that I should have, I flopped backwards, letting out a sound that was a mix of a groan and a roar.

I looked at the ceiling, annoyance spiking because I truly believed I could finally live the dream of having some sort of super power. But of course, I couldn't be like TV show heroines who fought the forces of evil and save the world by calling forth the power of a magic artifact, which came with a new wardrobe included... then again, I probably would let the mystic power go to waste because I wouldn't be caught dead with a skirt that short... or would I? Magic powers seemed like a good enough reason to go around flashing panties all over the place.

Whatever.

Silently, I mussed what to do to get the chakra I knew I had in my body work for me. In the end, I figured having a teacher would be convenient so I could learn how to hoard enough energy for the Jutsu equivalent of party tricks, which should suffice to satisfy my inner child. Once I had gotten "getting magic powers" off my bucket list, I would probably master those Justsus who would be useful for a civilians life: a fire Justu so making bonfires became easy, the ninja version of Aguamenti so I wouldn't have to fetch water from the well once I lived out of the hospital, some Jutsu that could help me stun drunkards or robbers or whatever jerk who tried to cause me bodily harm... yeah, Jutsu seemed like a nice thing to learn.

I wonder why most civilian didn't caught up on that. Specially since we had yet to reach the time in Naruto cannon where there was electricity, indoor plumbing and Cinemas... not that the last one could hold a candle to the other two in relevance, but it was still annoying knowing I wouldn't be able to sit in a sofa and let my brain rot while I watched what I assumed would be tales with badly done effects and corny dialogues.

Then again, people who started studying Justu-related things always became ninja, probably because the competitive environment and culture, while I was perfectly content to aim for mediocrity in this life.

Mediocrity seemed a good bet to stay alive in a world where becoming a great individual was a synonym of becoming a bigger target. Which didn't mean I didn't want to do something productive with my life, or that I wouldn't strive to get a comfortable life by having a decent job. I just would try to do so while keeping myself as unremarkable as possible... I would probable marry someone who is in the food busyness. After all, my grandfather didn't starve during Franco's dictatorship because a relative of his had a meat shop.

A pang of pain in my belly cut short my considerations of possible husbands to aim for. The pain was as intense as it was familiar, and I felt like eating an unholy amount of chocolate donuts. I glared to the pads in the table next to my bed. I had gotten it from a ninja nurse (because I kind of remembered from the show there were no regular nurses), who had looked at the blood running down my tight, tossed me the bags and gave me what had to be one of the most militaristic and brief explanation of what becoming fertile entailed. It went like: "bleeding like that once a month means you can bare children, you don't bleed after having sex, you got them... now put those on and don't bleed all over the sheets, or I'll make you wash them at the river."

I never got The Talk from my parents (not that I remember) because all that I needed to learn came from biology classes and the internet... I wonder if I should feel grateful of disappointed to have escaped that bullet.

Oh well, I guess I will figure that one after I have children of my own and continue the tradition of explaining why boys have screws and the girls nuts.

But more relevant that the wonders of being a woman, was the joyful future I had coming: get out of here, life a life without donuts, cheese cake ice cream, TV or the internet, then try not to die a horrible death while I life in a perpetual war zone, yay me!

That there was nobody around to appreciate my sarcasm made me feel even more annoyed, so I flipped until my face was buried in my pillow; then I started screaming and cursing at the universe, fate and God which... well, I probably would have never done the later in my past life because I was once a catholic; but getting tossed into the rebirth cycle instead of having my soul going up to the clouds, where obese babies played harps, was a clear sign I had been barking to the wrong tree.

Dammit, all those Sundays wasted in prayer.

And I still wanted donuts.

I started to punch my pillow as I insulted ninja's dangling parts in Spanish because my Japanese list of profanities wasn't as big as the one I had in my native language one reincarnation ago...

"Ahem," a sound came from behind, and I could not honestly say whether or not I was still corrupting the metaphorical ears of my pillow, when the noise coming from the door made me look back. There was a Yamanaka there, which wasn't at all surprising because I had been a prime example of how a person can lose all her screws and keep living. They probably were using me as didactic material so the future generations could understand how sometimes even the best of them failed to bring someone from the brim of insanity... or maybe I was just imagining things because I wanted someone to direct my monthly fury at for at least five minutes.

The Yamanaka man (I should probably learn his name at some point) gave me a look, took note of something, mumbling about Senju-sama (who just had to be Tobirama) wasting his time with my check ups when I was a lot cause.

I look at the man go, feeling profoundly indignant. I was no longer crazy!

It was official. I hated the Naruverse.

I felt a sudden urge to scream and trash around. I gave into the desire, yelling all the while I jumped from the bed to the floor and started kicking the pristine white walls over and over. I knew I was not helping my cause, but I could care less. After all, I had spent years being truly crazy, so having an episode now was like throwing a drop of dew in the ocean: it didn't do a damn difference.

The usual nurse came into the room, hands glowing green, then she put her hand on my head and I knew no more of the world around me.

I once again became a prisoner of oblivion.

...

When Senju Tobirama saw Yamanaka Shinya standing right outside his office with a frown, he asked the man if he wanted some tea. Because Tobirama knew that whenever that particular Yamanaka came from a visit it meant Shayoko made something worrying; like that time she threw a plate to a nurse, who managed to duck, but didn't react fast enough to keep a happily running civilian kid from stepping all over the broken ceramic. Hand't the girl been under his juresdiciton, she would have ended up in a more issolate room of the phsychiatric guard.

"Senju-sama, I know you still hope the girl will recover from trauma, but there has been no improvement _in 6 years_."

"I know,Yamanaka-san," Tobirama admitted flatly, and silence settled in the room for several moments. "What did she do this time?" He settled on asking.

"She started screaming and kicking walls for no apparent reason," he explained exasperated. "I had barely gone into the room when she tried to kick a hole in the wall, and the nurses had to knock her out to get her to stop. Because they know from experience she never stops once she starts lashing out."

"What do you suggest we do then?" Tobirama asked looking unphased.

Before the Yamanaka could reply to that, a polite knock from the door. "Senju-sama, I brought your tea," his assistant, a thin, black haired woman, came in carrying tea for the two of them, put the plate on the table, bowed "Yamanaka-san," then left the room.

Yamanaka Shinya sighed. And both ninja knew what he would say before he spoke, "I think you should move on. Senju-sama, I know it is not in my position to butt in, but you should stop investing so much energy on that girl, and spend more time with other people."

"I spent a lot of time around people," Tobirama defended, feeling a bit annoyed to the now old argument between him and the Yamanaka, who seemed to be convinced that his guilt for the girl was the reason Tobirama had yet to start looking for a woman to settle in. And there were a lot of those women, even outside the Senju clan, who had made moves on him, which made peple wonder why was he still single.

He turned down all advances, of course; he didn't feel atracted to them, and he didn't have time for relationships when his happy-go lucky brother/hokage merrily dumped most of his paperwork on him while he ran around with that foolish grin of his, making friends out powerful shinobi clans that would one say become part of the lifeforce of Konohagakure.

If his Hashirama's actions were not vital for the future of the village they were building, he would punch the Mokuton user in the face, Hokage or not.

"Spend time with people _outside of work_ Senju-sama," Shinya clarified exasperated. "Even your brother has found the time to romance Uzumaki Mito, marry her, produce an heir and fullfull his duties to the village."

That last remark angered Tobirama. Of course Hashirama had time to romance the Uzumaki red head and reproduce. Tobirama was the one swamped with paperwork! Despite of that, nobody gave him a break; specially not the Senju elders who were pushing him to "follow into his brother's steps" and help restablish the number of clan members that had dwinled in the years of fierce conflict against the Uchiha Clan.

"I will take your words into consideration," Tobirma replied with finality and the Yamanaka knew a dismiss when he heard one. Soon enough the white-haired, red-eyed Senju was left alone in the room with a mountain of paperwork and a tray of rapidly cooling tea.

He took a long sip of his tea cup, eyeing the paper on top of the pile with an unhappy look. His brother's newest idea seemed to mock him back from the paper because he knew that idea of Hashirama to send the children to perilous situations, in small squads mostly formed of teams of different clans was going to be a nightmare to implement. Sure, it was a good idea to create lasting relationships while combining the best talents of the shinobi they had, but to convince the clans that the fate of their potential heirs could be influenced by a ninja academy, then they would be sort of raised by a jounin that would take them into mortal perril...

Tobirama snorted. And people still wondered why he was still single with all the messes he had to help his brother with.

Tobirama put down his now empty vase in a distracted fashion, failing to remember the extra vase his assistant had brought for the Yamanaka. Of course, the contents didn't get to spill completely, but a drop or two managed to make it out of the vase, staining the scroll with the fragrant chamomile and jasmine beverage.

Still, his senses were a bit strained at the moment. He needed some air. And if his much needed walk happened to be in the direction of the hospital... well, no harm visiting the closest thing to a daughter he had.

He only wished said "daughter" wasn't completely insane.

...

I woke up with a headache. The world tilted and spun at the sudden jolt at not waking up into my dainty room, with low quality wood furniture coverend with plush toys I kept despite reaching adulthood. However the disorientation (while sickening) didn't last long. The reality replacing the last tickling memories of a happy life hit me with the softness of a sledgehammer tied to a racing car. And I felt alone. So, so alone. I was an outsider, a crazy kid without a future and with a second childhood I wanted to forget about.

I wanted my mommy.

A lone tear slid down my pale cheek, then another and another. But I didn't let the damn break. I needed to pull myself together.

The thin white fabric on my body made my stomach revolt, and an inner voice bitterly pointed out that there was a whole closet of clothes I would never be able to use again.

"What did I do to deserve this?" I murmured with a broken voice, not caring that the point on my chest I was clutching would be getting a very painful bruise.

"Mom, dad, I, I'm not ready to grown up yet. I want to know you will be back home when I return there, that I will smell a cake in the oven every now and then, that I can tell you about my days. I miss my baby dog, I miss your nagging that my room is a mess... now I don't even have enough things to mess a room, nor have one of my own to mess. And I don't have you. And I miss you so so much."

The feelings bubbling up in my chest were so painful and I humorlessly realized I was going through the stages of grief: denial, depression... what where the others? Anger, negotiation and aceptation? If only I had google to search upon that.

For some reason, that I could be frustrated upon such a small thing made me snort in humor. I was probably more fucked up that I had realized.

Then I started to cry so much I couldn't see what was beyond my nose, so I didn't notice someone else in the room until I was pulled into a warm chest that smelled positively male and husky. My wailing only increased now that I had someone to hold me. The feeling of tiredness that was there increased when a napkin was put over my nose and mouth, and I was unsure if it had gotten damp on my tears, snot or something else entirely.

"I'm sorry," the male voice sounded so distant that I couldn't identify the owner. But that was ok, I was too tired to care. A small itch inside my nose made itself known as an unfamiliar stench came from the fabric.

Naruto People sure needed an improvement in soaps.

Then I simply collapsed into oblivion.

...

Tobirama finished his walk towards and incidentally made a detour for the hospital. That he was currently carrying a big box of dango while he didn't like them very much was also a councidence. But, since he was in the hospital already and had sweets he wasn't planning to eat he figured he would give them to Sayoko as a peace offer of sorts since he hadn't had the time to visit for months.

Then he heard a noise, "Sayoko-chan?" he asked carefully as he opened the door but there was no response. His eyes immediately landed on the messy bed, which was now currently empty. A feeling of dread pulled into his stomach as flapping curtains made him look up and notice that the window was open and the locks that usually kept them closed were melted, and a faint smell of oil and burnt metal permeated the air.

Someone had kidnaped the little girl.

And if the smell of blood in the room was any indication, she had gotten hurt in the process.

Tobirama saw red.

Completely obvlivious to the bag of pads innocently resting on the room's table.

 _To Be Continued._

* * *

.

* * *

 **AN:** Dun dun duuuun.


End file.
